"Is That Good?" Everything Awkward About Going to the Dentist

I found out I have thick saliva this time. Disgusting. I don't know what that means. Is that good?

Okay, we went to the dentist. Being the dentist chair is so funny because, do you feel like you get into deeper conversations with your dental hygienist than Ask you such personal questions like right off the jump right Like they want to know everything you did this summer and all of the you're going to be taking and do you grind your teeth and I'm like okay first of all I actually don't even know your name

Right I found out I have thick saliva this time Disgusting I don't know what that means is that good Not because if you have thinner saliva it helps like wash out more stuff more quickly I'm like oh great I have thick saliva like I love it when you Go places and they there's like they give you new things to be self-conscious about that you had no idea about they're just like oh yeah you have thick saliva I'm like oh thanks like New Ick Unlocked.

But like you get into these deep conversations with them and they're like on top of you and inside your mouth you get like there's enough time where you're you're talking you almost like you learn about enough about each other to have like fights No, it's true. Like oh I thought you didn't want kids it's like are we like married like are we breaking up like Why What is going on here It is true. They'll always ask you a question and then they'll like immediately start cleaning. and I'm like, okay, well, I'm just going to give you a very short

answer because I want to get out of here. Like you may be spending eight hours here, but I don't want to spend more than an hour. like, what do you think about the Roman Empire then stick like 83 implements I know it's one thing if it's the dentist. Cause if you go regularly, then you know, the dentist and got rapport. The dentist like, is breezy that's like the, that's The hygienist. Yeah. Yeah. did have one dental hygienist that I went to regularly and she was great. So that was fine because we could like pick up where we left off.

But if you go in and it's someone new and then you have to go through the whole like, well, what do you do? What did you do this summer? yeah it's Are dating you Thanksgiving? It's like dating. It's like a bad date where it's like fuck I wish I didn't book dinner I wish this was drinks like I want to be able to Just leave I know. And I'm just like, you know what? Let's just actually stop the chit chat. I'm not nervous in this chair. Just get done what you need to do and then I can leave.

Know what I mean? like it's not Like I need the chit-chat to enjoy the experience. Right I feel like do they do it as a like do they try and bond with you to like keep you like coming back to the same Don't know if it's to go back to that particular person or if it's just like a nicety, like a bedside manner, or if it does make people feel more comfortable. Like hit it off with somebody and then they like leave the practice and you go back

and somebody else that's like a misconnection it's like oh where's like my person Yeah. Yeah. Also, do you ever sometimes like answer the question and then you're like, oh, I didn't like say enough or I didn't answer it well. And then you basically have to like wait until they like take the rubber dam out. And then you have to be like, oh, about that thing that Conversation said five minutes Ago.

And then I also feel as an adult, you have to get mint fluoride. Like who's So going and I got like, Too. Right. Going and getting like melon? Can't ask for like a, like bananas, like a 40 year old No exactly Yeah. I got double mint actually. Got to get double mint no one's going in getting like cherry watermelon like concoction Also it's like a back room situation My gosh yes Just walk into this liminal space and you're like how if Far does this go It's your regular hygienist because we do go quite frequently so like if you're on a

good rotation where you're going to the hygienist you even know where you're going but say you have to reschedule or go to someone new or whatever they're just like oh right here but I'm like how would I know like which room I'm supposed to be walking into identical in an hallway yeah And they let you lead sometimes and I'm like why aren't you leading me like Yeah exactly they're literally just Expect like oh down the hall and it's like and I'm like Don't know where to go

I'm just like walking by all these people being tortured and the people there are cleaning their teeth being like to see here

It's like eyes wide shut everybody's in and masks Then also the rooms are so closed and because of the flow there's no doors or whatever so like you're hearing what's going on in the other room so I'm Sometimes, Like I'm answering questions but like Linda next door who's like getting like a cavity filled is now listening and then I have to like hear her be like oh like I'm sensitive Right, and there's always some new, like, procedure thing they need to detect. It's like, oh, you haven't had your, like, surround sound 360,

Oh my god Ultrasonic scan yet this year. I'm like, did I ever have that? Do I need Know and then I'm literally like I think I'm fine like

I know I had a big conversation about the new Dyson toothbrush that's coming out because it is a camera I think it's like 500 600 bucks obviously I want to get it because I'm a Dyson girl but I'm like, How much better is this toothbrush going to be than like my oral B toothbrush? Oh my God, a toothbrush with a camera. That's going to be a whole new level of I know. I think it's Are going to be posting their videos Know. it'll be like, oh my God, you think she filters her teeth?

It'll be like when you seen her I'm like, don't know if I need to see that.

It's always like M2. Like what? Why did they tap also? And they don't even hardly listen. Literally just goes and then like asks like for a full report and I'm like are you really like getting the density like that quickly Yeah. It's like, is it like when you like press on a steak to see if it's well done Maybe but Like, is that real? Do they teach that in I'm also like this is your work like shouldn't you like know like how my teeth are doing like you know what I mean Yeah.

Like my plants if I don't water them or water them like that's on me. Right. But I did feel fresh afterwards. They did a great job. It. Yeah. it. Now we can go eat Halloween candy. Now I know that I have thick saliva. Just... thanks new like thing unlocked Also, considering you went to a new hygienist and she told you about the thick saliva. nobody else tell me Right. about And they just casually say it. Yeah like, okay. Else don't I know that I have Right.

Then do you also sometimes get self-conscious when the dentist comes in and then like the hygienist and the dentist are almost kind of like talking or whispering Yeah totally I'm like what are you saying Right it's like oh is like is like f5 fine or Know oh I saw a little like uh protrusion like is s2 It's like what does that mean know How bad is it like And then they like say sometimes those things to you and I'm like where is that in my mouth like I don't have a chart

Right no I like collect myself before the dentist comes in because you're like on your back you've got the like dumb sunglasses on like Sunglasses are also so bad like Know. they get cool ones? Somewhat cool Like, give me, like, a Fendi. No anything and then you're just there with your little like blue bib and Yeah. They're also not super clear like sometimes I find they're not like you assume the dentist is coming in but sometimes they aren't like oh like the dentist is coming in a few minutes sometimes you're just like so do I get up do I stay like am I

bothering you am I over saying my welcome The rhythm of, like, when you, like, close your mouth to, like, suck the stuff out. Right tell you, but sometimes don't. Know It's like, how much of a dance do we have to do here? Like, are we in a rhythm or Know I going to get a verbal cue every time? Know I know I mean I feel like I have it down pat but then sometimes I'm like Yeah, we're lucky to be able to get like modern dental. Of course

Like help. Like where it's so much better than, you know, it used to be.

Also the other thing that's kind of awkward and maybe this is just our like dentistry practice but like you walk in and there's like a few receptionists and I'm like who do you to Which teller do I go to which wicked am I supposed to be at they're not like there's not an immediate greeter like No Really there should just be a front desk and then like if you need to be passed off but like it's like so quiet like everything's kind of like a little bit but

Awkward Honestly I know maybe like each dentist in the practice needs to have like their assistant that does the booking and stuff like that but that's fine but can't there just be one person who like checks you in and then sometimes they're like oh like on lunch so like I'll take you here and I was like didn't even know that person existed It's like I just I don't know how anything works No no and there's like no plan to tell us

No you actually help me because you kind of book the you book our appointments Well together go together Yes make sure I get there And Then they're like I'm in the chair they're like oh do you want to book again I'm like well my girlfriend usually books my appointments